- Posted by lifeteachesadmin
- On May 4, 2020
- 0 Comments
- emptiness, love your life, love yourself, self value
What do you do with your time? You wish your life could get better. Every day you wake up and wish you lived a different life.
What are YOU doing about it?
You’re getting help. You haven’t had much luck with therapists in the past… But maybe this time will be different.
You’re going out so you could meet new people because you want friends. You’re tired of feeling lonely.
You’re looking for a job because you’re tired of being broke. You have a job interview coming up. You’re nervous. What if they don’t hire you?
Do you give yourself credit for the things you’re doing? Or do you spend your time feeding the emptiness?
As you’ve been trying to make your life better, you’ve learned about certain things you do fill a void in your life. The void is what I call “the emptiness”.
It’s what feels like a hole in your heart. Shopping when you don’t have money. Eating, not because you’re hungry, but because it fills that void. Surrounding yourself with people who don’t treat you how you want to be treated.
Now that you’re aware of certain habits that “fill the void”, every time you do them, you beat yourself up afterwards because you know that’s all you’re doing…. But is it? Are you just filling the void…. Or are you feeding the emptiness?
Have you heard the story about which wolf wins? Two wolves: one being vicious and mean. The other being strong and powerful, but kind and gentle. When they fight, which one wins?
This is a native American story I heard years ago. The answer is the one you feed the most.
Shopping makes you feel good because who doesn’t like new things? Not me personally, but a lot of people love to shop. They love the act of shopping. They love the whole process. Trying on new clothes, the actual purchase makes them feel rich or important, pretending they do this every day, even when they don’t.
I could see why. I used to sing karaoke under the same guise. I liked pretending I was a rock star. I had a group of friends that played along. They always made me feel like a celebrity. I’d walk into the bar and people rushed to say hello. People wanted to catch up since the last time we talked. I felt important. I felt like a star.
This might sound silly. But think about how you spend your time. Are you feeding your hopes and dreams or are you feeding the emptiness?
That all depends on how you view the experience. It depends on your perspective.
What do you take away from the experience? How do you feel afterwards?
If you kick yourself after every time you do it, then you’re feeding the emptiness. Do you beat yourself up for spending money you don’t have? Do you chastise yourself every time you get on a scale or look in a mirror? Have you ever asked yourself why you continue to hang out with people who make you feel bad?
I used to beat myself up for staying out so late when I was exhausted. I needed more sleep. What was I doing starting out till all hours, drinking and hanging out? Karaoke doesn’t even start till 10:00pm.
Did I really need to be doing all that drinking? If I was trying to take better care of myself, karaoke night was my downfall.
I started noticing that all these “friends” knew nothing about the real me. They only knew what I told them, that once a month that I saw them. I tried to make plans with them for times other than karaoke night. This fed the loneliness. Nobody really cared. I could sit and sulk about this all day long…. Or I could enjoy myself and take away a different perspective.
From karaoke, I got more comfortable being in front of people. I felt good about myself when I was there. I really did feel like a rock star. I became more confident, thanks to all those people supporting me. I did make some real friends. There were a few people who I really got to know… And they genuinely wanted to get to know me. That made me feel important.
When I used to feel like a mooch because I didn’t have money to buy my own or anyone else’s drinks, I later thought of the fact that I never spent money I didn’t have. I did always have a drink. When I would thank my friends and apologize for not having money, they said they loved to see me have a good time and I never EXPECTED anyone to buy me a drink. I was just grateful if and when someone did.
I learned to feed my hopes and dreams instead of feeding the emptiness.
It boils down to being kind to myself. It’s how you talk to yourself afterwards that matters.
You can’t take back things you’ve already said or done. You can’t change what’s happened to you. You can’t change the past.
Every time you’ve “filled the void”, how do you talk to yourself about it? Are you kind to yourself or, if you were talking to someone else, would what you say to be considered abusive? If anyone else talked to me that way, I wouldn’t take half that abuse. Why was I inflicting that upon myself?
I was raised with criticism. I was raised in an environment where nothing was ever good enough. I watched how my dad treated my mother as if she was an undisciplined child. He was very stern and critical in the way that he spoke and behaved. This was the example I grew up around. This was my normal.
I’m not a little kid anymore. My parents aren’t in charge of my life anymore. I am!
My poem…..the World I See Begins with Me…..is about taking responsibility for my own life, my own actions.
I felt horrible about myself. I kept perpetuating all those beliefs by telling myself that I’ll never be good enough and that I’m still nothing more than an undisciplined child.
Spending money fills the void. Being around people fills the void. Eating fills the void.
Am I spending money intentionally or JUST to fill the void? What am I saying to myself afterwards?
Am I spending time with quality people or am I just desperately avoiding being alone?
Am I eating healthy foods and treating my body well or am I snacking on whatever’s is offered or put in front of me?
Every time I feed the emptiness, I’m providing more ammo to “that voice” that says, “See, I told you…..”
The “True Me” that I’ve now come to know spends money on things that she loves and adds value to her life somehow. She surrounds herself with people who make her feel good about herself. She listens to her body and supports it by feeding it properly.
With each of these actions, I get a little stronger. It didn’t take long before I was in a better financial situation. I felt good about myself and the people around me. I felt healthier and had more energy than I ever did before.
An added bonus for me……I found my forever love.
I was so focused on feeling good, that the universe decided I should feel even better. Some call it luck. Personally, I don’t believe in luck. I believe in alignment. My job is to feel good about myself.
When I align with the “True Me”, when I listen to my gut and follow my instincts, I feel good about myself. I feel good about my life. As I’ve started feeling better, I love watching things unfold.
Everything I’ve ever asked for shows up. Everything I need and almost everything I want……just appears in my path. Something leads me to it. I watch the path reveal itself and I follow the path put before me…..by ME!
Religion may argue this, but I don’t believe there is a G-d above us who wants what He wants. I don’t need to make anyone else happy. I make ME happy. Watching people grow makes me happy. Seeing people happy makes me happy. Knowing I am making an impact in the world makes me happy.
So….what are you doing with your time these days? What’s new and exciting in your life?
A grateful heart attracts more to be grateful for.
Can you name 3 things every morning that you’re grateful for? Start a journal. (I say morning because starting your day this way helps set the pace for the day.)
Train your brain to find more to be grateful for. Start this habit. Set some goals. Learn who YOU really are. What do you like? What do you want? Start dreaming. Start living!
Get to know YOU! Most importantly, be kind to YOU! Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Be aware of how you talk to YOU and watch the magic that is your life unfold.
I’m changing the world by changing lives. I started with my own <3